1 post tagged “cereal”

What or who is your favorite product mascot? Why?

I guess this question is a little better, but not by that much. Having a favorite product mascot is pretty much saying that advertising has its slimy hands firmly around your throat and you defer to it in all aspects of your life. From there, you can see wearing logos and product placement even though you personally are not being paid for it. Fortunately, I'm lame like that.

Assuming that we're talking solely about character created with the express purpose of hawking a particular product (no licensing), I'm gonna have to go with Sugar Bear. First of all, as soon as you hear that nigga's voice, you know he's a fucking pimp. He may "sell cereal" as a way to keep his PO off his back, but trust: his money comes from hoes paying him what they owe him.

Secondly, even though he's fallen by the wayside quite a bit, especially compared to fools like Tony the Tiger and Toucan Sam (and the originator Cap'n Crunch), Sugar Bear has a goddamn history. He used to fuck up space aliens and shit, as well as turn out little kids on his "cereal" before putting them on the street to earn daddy some change. You've got to respect that. What the fuck has that bird done besides tell people to "follow their nose"? Bitch, Froot Loops smells like cereal! You've even got to jack the spelling up to keep the feds off your back.

Nigga, what the fuck is froot?

I've gotten off track a bit. Anyway, I know kids today won't know who the fuck Sugar Bear is, but hopefully he'll make a comeback sooner or later and introduce a new generation to the magic of pimping via part of your complete breakfast.