8 posts tagged “qotd”

If you could have one superpower, what would you choose?
Submitted by J.T.

Super speed, and anyone who says different is a dumb fucking cunt.

I've thought about this way too much over the past fifteen years, so I'll spare you the long discourse. This time, anyway.

What was the one toy you wanted as a kid that your parents never bought you?
Submitted by Princess of Darkness.

When I was growing up, the moms didn't let me have toy guns. This extended to the original Megatron Transformer, which I got for my fifth birthday and didn't even get out of the package before the moms saw to it that it "disappeared." This was during the 80s, so with Reaganomics and military buildup in full swing, toy guns underwent a resurgence that we'll probably never see the likes of again. There were battery operated waterguns that were mocked up to look like Uzis and rocket launchers, cap guns that actually had a muzzle flash, pump action shotguns that fired ping pong balls -- truly, it was a great time to be a child.

And I missed out.

When was the last time you had to speak in front of a group?  How did you feel?

All right, this is just plain gay now. I can't put up with this shit no more.

Offensive! Oh no! People may be exposed to something that they do not like!

IT'S

ALL

COMING

DOWWWWWWWWWWWWWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNUH

If you could get someone in your life to start a blog, who would it be and why?

This hot white chick I had in a class last semester. Either her or Sara. For some reason, I find myself oddly compelled to read the writings of a girl when I know she has huge tittays.

What or who is your favorite product mascot? Why?

I guess this question is a little better, but not by that much. Having a favorite product mascot is pretty much saying that advertising has its slimy hands firmly around your throat and you defer to it in all aspects of your life. From there, you can see wearing logos and product placement even though you personally are not being paid for it. Fortunately, I'm lame like that.

Assuming that we're talking solely about character created with the express purpose of hawking a particular product (no licensing), I'm gonna have to go with Sugar Bear. First of all, as soon as you hear that nigga's voice, you know he's a fucking pimp. He may "sell cereal" as a way to keep his PO off his back, but trust: his money comes from hoes paying him what they owe him.

Secondly, even though he's fallen by the wayside quite a bit, especially compared to fools like Tony the Tiger and Toucan Sam (and the originator Cap'n Crunch), Sugar Bear has a goddamn history. He used to fuck up space aliens and shit, as well as turn out little kids on his "cereal" before putting them on the street to earn daddy some change. You've got to respect that. What the fuck has that bird done besides tell people to "follow their nose"? Bitch, Froot Loops smells like cereal! You've even got to jack the spelling up to keep the feds off your back.

Nigga, what the fuck is froot?

I've gotten off track a bit. Anyway, I know kids today won't know who the fuck Sugar Bear is, but hopefully he'll make a comeback sooner or later and introduce a new generation to the magic of pimping via part of your complete breakfast.

If you could open any sort of restaurant, what would it be like?

What the fuck kind of question is this? The hell?

A New Orleans-style cajun restaurant, I guess. Po boys, crawfish etoufee, cuban sandwiches, that type of shit.

Seriously, what the fuck? There is no answer to this question that is remotely interesting to anyone, including the answerer. Someone needs to get on improving the quality of these questions. I'm not here for fucking fantasy restaurants and shit.

Play any instrument or speak any language, which do you choose?
Question submitted by cruftbox.vox.com.

Holy shit, play any instrument. What the fuck?

You don't need to speak a girl's language in order to get her to blow you. If you can wail on a guitar, play a saxophone, and tickle the ivories, you'll have premium trim tripping over itself to get to you.

Look at Prince. That nigga is 5 foot nothing, a hundred and nothing, and he banged Carmen Electra and made Purple Rain.

Why don't you purify yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka?

What was your favorite candy when you were a kid? How does that compare to now?

Shit, I don't know. I didn't get too much candy when I was a kid, except for Halloween. It'll rot your teeth, you know. Now I really like Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. That shit is always tasty.